im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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