I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
