By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
