I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
