He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
