I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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