im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Drake has all the answers
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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