just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
