He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
