Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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