the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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