just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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