how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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