we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
