is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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