you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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