I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
