I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
