When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
