is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
