Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
