i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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