Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
