would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize