He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
