hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
