i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
