I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
