ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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