New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
