I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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