Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
