do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
