Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
