omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
