Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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