I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
