We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize