i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
