Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
