Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize