you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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