i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
