Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
