stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
