the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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