The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
