I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize