At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
