Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
