You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
