Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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