You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
