This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
