Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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