Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
