yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
