I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
