Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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