I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
