Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
